And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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