Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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