i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
