just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
