My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
