chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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