he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
