I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
