I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
