I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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