turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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