And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
