whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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