would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
