why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
