porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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