i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Fuck appropriateness.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
