But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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