i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
