one might say we're banned from that church
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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