and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
