So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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