Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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