holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my shit smells like andre
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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