just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
