weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
