I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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