don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
