I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
