he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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