Nicole vs. Life
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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