If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
