return my video game
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
