Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
