and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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