please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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