i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The convent might be a nice break from real life
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
