when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
