dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
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She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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