I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.