party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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