Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.