Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
3 2 1 whiskey
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?