Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if you like me you must not know who I am
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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