Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
