Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
