i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
