he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
