no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I DEMAND FORESKIN
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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