My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
