Need sex. Gaining weight.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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