how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
