how do flat chested girls get laid?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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