Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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