I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
