Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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