When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
