is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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