I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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