she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
