just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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