she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
