This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
