Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
