She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
