who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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